Saturday, March 24, 2007

This Is my Story


I am the lost lamb, This first post will tell you my history and how I came to be speaking to you.
So if you have some time feel free to listen to my story....

I am 22, grew up in a Mexican Catholic home.. My mom and dad were separated for Many years(11-13 or something of the sorts), I lived with my Mexican grandparents growing up and my Mother, Of course all my aunts and uncles had a say in raising me too, such is life in a Mexican family.

One of the 2 Churches in my Small Kansas Town

Grades K-7 were spent attending Catholic School in my small Kansas town, Mass every Day, Instructions by nuns, Max Class size was 24. It was during these formative years attending Mass, Receiving my First Holy Communion, Confession... that I felt a "Call" to the Church... as a young altar boy, this call was interpreted to be to the priesthood... so ever since i can remember I didn't play with GI-Joe's I played "Mass" and had my family attend and I would do everything the priest did.. I had "Corporals", "Chalices" "Eucharist" etc... and it went on for quite sometime... Be as it may.. My father and my mother reconciled when I started 8th Grade... we moved to the big city and of course satan wanted to devour this fresh lamb out from the pasture.. and he did.. slowly but surely, My mass attendance went down... my prayer time went down... my interest in things worldly went up... but many may say that this is the nature of an adolescent but I disagree. I would say satan's biggest battle was won when i chose to attend Catholic High School...I was the Most corrupt there... and the priests, faculty and other staff effectively at the time snuffed out any last lingering interest in the priest hood.

"Catholic" High School

So lets fast forward a bit from freshman year at "Catholic" high school as it breaks my heart to think about how they broke my soul- Today I am a 22 year old full time father and husband of two, I have been civilly married now for 4 years and love my two boys, even though we are both Catholic my wife and I did not get married in the church and have not been living as good Catholics.

The Most Gracious Holy Spirit

This all changed about 2 weeks ago, with my Grandmother whom raised me ill in the hospital, and our prayers for her increasing, and us just being us... My wife mentioned after an angry tirade at me that the only time she felt good anymore was on the few occasions we went to mass, I said lets go more often, and as if by the holy spirit filled me right then with all the vigor and passion for my Church once again, and again I heard God Calling me to Serve him..

But now this confused me, as I felt the calling as before but now I know its not to the priest hood, I am a married man so what am I being Called to? At this time I thought it might be the Deaconate and I inquired as to what it would take to accomplish that, suffice to say that based on my age alone I am not old enough to enter the Permanent Deaconate. (Its been awhile since I haven't been able to do something biased on age)

Well about a week ago my ill grandmother passed away and at her Requiem mass a few things happened..
This Novus Ordo mass was just not worthy of my grandmothers soul. I have not been to a Novus ordo mass since, not because I dont agree with it, am I am not a SSPX member but a Roman Catholic so the Novus order must be a valid rite, but the personal interpretation by parish priests must be stopped. Her mass was just rushed, sloppy, and irreverent of her soul let alone Christ in the Eucharist. Be that as it may, her death and her mass has just pushed me to the next level.

I am Back and I am here to support my Faith with a vengeance and Im bringing my entire family with me, The wife and I have started the motion to get our marriage convalidated in the church so that we may fully participate in the sacraments and get back to living in a state of grace. We are increasing our use in sacramentals and have stopped committing other heresy's that we have been doing.

Please pray for us in this journey back home!

Pax Christi


Augusta said...

So happy to hear you're back! Welcome to the Catholic blogging world! Love the title! Your family will be in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Praise God that another of His lambs have come back into the fold!

God Bless,

Embattled Catholic

Anonymous said...

Helllo, lovely to read of your spiritual journey, and discernment that there's something not quite right with the novus ordo Mass - something my husband and I have gradually come to realise too.
Just one thing though, you list your "astrological sign" in your complete profile - did you not know that having anything to do with astrology is a sin against the first commandment, and forbidden by Holy Mother Church? I'm sure you didn't realise!
Anyway, God Bless you and keep you and your family,

Fr. Reginald Wilson said...

I am very glad that NLM linked me to your blog. It was edifying to read your journey and as a priest I am saddended by your High School experieces. I will include you and your family in my prayers.
I agree with everything you say about the "Bugnini version" of the Novus Ordo Mass that you have complained about. May the Reform of the Reform get underway!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful but, sad story!Please hang in there with your faith now that you have returned to the Church. I have 5 children & 2 grandkids older than you and am a cradle Catholic and left the Church a couple of years after the reform and only returned upon JPII's death. The BIGGEST mistake of my live!
You and your family are in my prayers!
In Christ

PS: Great website!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful story! Welcome back. I just have six words for you Extraodinary Form of the Roman Rite. It doesn't get more perfect than that.

As far as the "'Bugnini version' of the Novus Ordo," every Novus Ordo is a Bugnini version. He's the one that authored it. Stick with the traditional Mass. It needs no reform.

Anonymous said...

Dear Christopher,
Thank you for attending and posting photos of our Kansans for Life rally 2008.
If you would like to attend a "legal" Catholic Latin mass,they are available in this diocese. Notably, services in the Latin rite take place close to you at Blessed Sacrament in KCK. (See bulletin below)
To talk to my 24 yr old son, Mark who is a "FOCUS" Catholic evangelist at the campus of UMKC, or to talk to me, call the Topeka KFL office at 785-234-2998 , M_F from 10-3pm.
Here is a bulletin from the Latin Mass Community at Blessed Sacrament
GOd's peace, Kathy

Dear Fellow Parishioners: Here is this week's bulletin, and a few additional announcements:

Fellow parishioners Marc & Eileen Weishaar received their first heavenly blessing with the arrival of Jane Marie on March 2nd.

Fellow parishioners Sean & Beth Maher received their tenth heavenly blessing with the arrival of John Phillip on April 2nd.

Also, please be sure and mark your calendar for this year's Parish Picnic, on Saturday June 7th. at Garrett Park in Shawnee.

Lastly, Father reminds us that The HyVee at 16100 W. 135th St in Olathe (E of I-35 between Mur-Len and Blackbob) {(913) 780-9339} is now offering a “Family Aisle.” This means that the aisle does not have any inappropriate magazines in it, i.e. NO TRASH ! If you check out through this aisle, your poor children won’t have to run the gauntlet! It is the first aisle and it is always open. I would like to encourage our people from that area of town to support this store and personally thank the management. Even a phone call to thank the store manager would be very good. And if this store isn't near you, please take a moment to speak to the manager of your local grocery store about setting up a similar aisle in your store. Let them know we'll feature them (just like the HyVee store) on our web site!

Confession begins 30 minutes prior to each Mass

Every Sunday: Low Mass at 6:30 a.m. High Mass at 11:00 a.m.

Monday, April 7 - Mass at 12:00 Noon

Tuesday, April 8 - Mass at 12:00 Noon

Wednesday, April 9 - Mass at 12:00 Noon

Thursday, April 10 - Mass & Benediction at 6:00 p.m.

Friday, April 11 - Mass at 12:00 Noon
St. Leo the Great, Pope, Confessor & Doctor

Saturday, April 12 - Mass at 9:00 a.m.

2 notes from Fr Wolfe
1) On the occasion of the release – April 18th - of the Ben Stein movie: Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, The Intelligent Design Network is presenting a conference: Darwin, Design, & Democracy VII: Banning Intelligence from Science. The Conference starts at 9 AM on Saturday, April 19, at the Colonial Conference Center, 135th and Rosehill Road in Overland Park. The admission price is either a ticket stub from an April 18th showing of Expelled, or else the cost of a ticket (to see the movie at 7 PM.) Jack Cashill will emcee. For more information, see

This promises to be a very worthwhile event!

2) There will NOT be a daily Mass this coming Wednesday, April 16, because the floor in the nave will be worked on.

First Holy Communion

First Holy Communion will take place on the Outer Solemnity of Corpus Christi, May 25th, during the 11:00 a.m. Mass. If you have a child preparing for this Sacrament, and they are not enrolled in the Sunday Catechism class, please contact Mrs. Sue DeMoss at 913-724-4026 as soon as possible. Thank you.

Send Your Angel To Holy Mass
O Holy Angel at my side, go to church for me, kneel in my place at Holy Mass. At Offertory in my stead take all I am and own, and place it as a sacrifice upon the Altar Throne. At Holy Consecration’s bell adore with Seraph’s love, my Jesus hidden in the Host come down from Heaven above. Then pray for those I dearly love and those who cause me grief, that Jesus’ Blood may cleanse all hearts, and suffering souls relieve. And when the Priest Communion takes, O bring my Lord to me, that His sweet Heart may rest on mine, and I His temple be. Pray that this Sacrifice Divine may mankind’ sins efface, then bring me Jesus’ blessing home, the pledge of every grace. Amen

Prayer for a Good Husband or Wife

O Jesus, Lover of the young, the dearest Friend I have, in all confidence I open my heart to You to beg Your light and assistance in the important task of planning my future. Give me the light of Your grace, that I may decide wisely concerning the person who is to be my partner through life. Dearest Jesus, send me such a one whom in Your wisdom You judge best suited to be united with me in marriage. May his (her) character reflect some of the traits of Your own Sacred Heart. May he (she) be upright, loyal, pure, sincere and noble, so that with united efforts and with pure and unselfish love we both may strive to perfect ourselves in soul and body, as well as the children it may please You to entrust to our care. Bless our friendship before marriage, that sin may have no part in it. May our mutual love bind us so closely, that our future home may ever be most like Your own at Nazareth .

O Mary Immaculate, sweet Mother of the young, to your special care I entrust the decision I am to make as to my future husband (wife). You are my guiding Star! Direct me to the person with whom I can best co-operate in doing God’s Holy Will, with whom I can live in peace, love, and harmony in this life, and attain to eternal joys in the next. Amen.

Making A Proper Thanksgiving

Pope Pius XII on the importance of making a proper thanksgiving after receiving Holy Communion:

...should we not approve of those who, when they receive holy communion, remain on in closest familiarity with their divine Redeemer even after the congregation has been officially dismissed, and that not only for the consolation of conversing with Him, but also to render Him due thanks and praise and especially to ask help to defend their souls against anything that may lessen the efficacy of the sacrament and to do everything in their power to cooperate with the action of Christ who is so intimately present. We exhort them to do so in a special manner by carrying out their resolutions, by exercising the Christian virtues, as also by applying to their own necessities the riches they have received with royal Liberality. The author of that golden book The Imitation of Christ certainly speaks in accordance with the letter and the spirit of the liturgy, when he gives the following advice to the person who approaches the altar, "Remain on in secret and take delight in your God; for He is yours whom the whole world cannot take away from you."

Prayer for God's Blessing on the Married

I BLESS THEE, most gracious Lord Jesus Christ, for having ordained that Thy holy Mother, the Virgin Mary, of whom Thou, O Redeemer of all men, didst will to assume flesh, should proceed from the chaste union of Joachim and Anne. By Thy goodness I beseech Thee, through the merits of the holy parents Joachim and Anne, have mercy on me and on all who, in their memory, sanctify their life in the state of Matrimony. Give them rest and peace, health of body and soul; make them fruitful in good children, and after this exile, grant them eternal glory to Thy praise and honor, O sweetest and most gracious Savior. Amen.

From Thomas รก Kempis

My God, Sweetness beyond words, make bitter all the carnal comfort that draws me from love of the eternal and lures me to its evil self by the sight of some delightful good in the present. Let it not overcome me, my God. Let not flesh and blood conquer me. Let not the world and its brief glory deceive me, nor the devil trip me by his craftiness. Give me courage to resist, patience to endure, and constancy to persevere. Give me the soothing unction of Your spirit rather than all the consolations of the world, and in place of carnal love, infuse into me the love of Your name.

Behold, eating, drinking, clothing, and other necessities that sustain the body are burdensome to the fervent soul. Grant me the grace to use such comforts temperately and not to become entangled in too great a desire for them. It is not lawful to cast them aside completely, for nature must be sustained, but Your holy law forbids us to demand superfluous things and things that are simply for pleasure, else the flesh would rebel against the spirit. In these matters, I beg, let Your hand guide and direct me, so that I may not overstep the law in any way.

( The Imitation of Christ Book 3, Chapter 26)
Next Sunday
Third Sunday after Easter : Epistle: I Peter 2: 11-19 ~ Gospel: John 16: 16-22